


Bill Hader One Shots

by orphan_account



Category: Bill Hader - Fandom
Genre: Bill Hader x Reader, Other, sfw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2020-10-14 18:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20605514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A collection of Bill Hader one shots to suit your Bill Hader needs. I try to be varied in scenarios but i do take suggestions.





	1. Chapter 1

Sweetest Things

He laughed at every joke I made and I laughed at his. I'd take a bite of my food and he would smile, knowing I would become embarrassed. He always told me how much he loved when my cheeks would go red, thinking I looked cute. 

I loved the way he would look into my eyes while I spoke, telling my he was listening to every word individually. He listened so well. And when he was nervous he would jolt his head slightly, sometimes rubbing his nose against his shoulder. He told me how he loved the fact I would make napkins into paper airplanes to distract myself. 

Every moment I was around him felt like I was the luckiest girl in the world. And as we leave the restaurant, he takes my hand, squeezes it gently, reminding me he would always be at my side.

Then we would find a private moment where everything was quiet, where we would just look into each other's eyes, just smiling and then slowly leaning into kiss. He would have to bend down slightly as I was shorter, but he showed that he didn't mind. And every kiss was better than the last. All the passion in the world couldn't compare to this moment. 

He knew exactly where to place his hands, stroking my cheek with his thumb. His body, touching mine, embracing me, as I embraced him. And when it was over, he would just look into my eyes again, telling me how beautiful I was and how he never knew he could end up with someone as good as me. I would think the same thing, showing this by grabbing him and kissing him more passionately than the last. Then I would tell him I loved him, and we would go to bed, I snuggled up against him as he whispered to me goodnight.


	2. Hanging Out

Bill and I were hanging out in his dressing room, doing this bit where would be different people meeting at a coffee place, each story getting more and more ridiculous.

"Hey, Tommy, I didn't expect you to be here" I say in a grainy voice.

"Why not Bob?" Bill replies.

"Well with your lack of arms I'm just not sure how you are able to hold a cup of coffee." I say, trying to suppress giggles.

"I see..."

"Well that was offensive Tommy, you know I'm blind!"

"Which asks the question in how you found this coffee shop, Bob. You just aren't the man I used to know."

"Is that you Tommy?" I say changing my voice to a more, sultry voice.

"Well yes it is Nina. You look wonderful, you can't even see your tail!" Bill says, making me lose it.

I start crying, laughing so much at how stupid the conversation we're having is. I look at Bill who is also laughing, imitating me saying 'that was offensive you know I'm blind'. I lean my head against Bill's shoulder as we quiet down and I look at us in the mirror. I long for the day that Bill will see me as a romantic interest, as I see he is. I look at him only in the mirror, looking at how messy his hair is.

"Your hair looks crazy." I say smiling. Bill smiles too, leaning his head on mine.

"You are crazy" he says back. I smile, giggling through my teeth like a little school girl.

We just stay silent for a minute or two, comfortably sitting there. You know you know someone when you can just say nothing and still feel completely comfortable in that person's presence. I slowly take Bill's hand in mine. He doesn't protest. I look at him through the mirror, he smiles.

"You better never leave me" I whisper, still looking at him through the mirror.

"Never" Is all he says.

I close my eyes and imagine us sitting on the couch in my dingy apartment. We're watching some true crime show, laughing at reenactments then apologizing in our heads for laughing at something based on a true event. Then he whispered to me I love you and I went back to reality.

"I love you too." I say, my eyes still closed.

I feel my hand being squeezed slightly as Bill adjusts his head. I open my eyes and see him still smiling at me. I smile back. He lifts his head and I do too. I look at him, not in the mirror but really him.

"Bill," I say trembling slightly. "I love you."

"I love you." Bill says, not really listening to the words.

"No, Bill I really love you. Like love, love." I say staring deep into his blue eyes. There's no response for a second.

Then Bill slowly puts his hand at the back of my head, looking at me softly. Then he turns his head slightly and kisses me on the cheek. All theses feelings that I've suppressed float to the surface. I can't really even tell if it's reality or not. I feel the need for more, so I tilt my head towards him, giving him permission. Our lips touch, my heart races as I feel his love pass on to me. He puts his hands on the sides of my face as I wrap my arms around his neck. We slowly descend, eventually my back on the floor of his dressing room, with him on top of me. We stop and I look at him. I accidentally laugh and eventually so does Bill. He rolls off of me and proceeds to sit down with his back against the wall and legs spread out beside me. I shuffle up and sit beside him, still laughing. Our hands join again.

"I'm sorry" I say still laughing. Bill doesn't respond, but smiles while still chuckling.

I look at him and he looks at me.

"Hey..." He says.

"Hey." I say still smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally ripped off the bloopers/deleted scenes bit formula from Skeleton Twins during that first part.


	3. Watching TV

Today had been so dull. It was one of those Saturdays where you have nothing to do but walk around your apartment looking at things and yawning while leaning against the window ledge, listening to the rainy afternoon.   
I decided to call my good friend Bill who was probably freaking out about the show tonight. I sat down on my old, stained couch that over the years had been piled with more and more blankets to disguise its discolouration and picked up my phone. Two rings in and there's an answer.  
"Hello?" Bill says, answering the phone like he always does: as if having no idea who's there despite the fact he has caller ID. It was just one of his best quirks.

"Hey, how are you? Freaking out yet?"  
"No thankfully, Fred's been cracking me up all afternoon. We've been doing that Obama bit!"  
"The one where he goes to LA?"  
"Yeah!" He says laughing while confirming.  
"I hope your not having too much fun without your best friend!"  
"Of course I'm not, I wish you could be here. I can't do the show with out you."  
"I wish I could too, but I'm just too sick and don't even say that, of course you can do the show without me!" I say sniffling.  
"Promise me you'll watch?"  
"Obviously I will, I've got nothing better to do"  
"Ha ha," Bill says sarcastically, "I've got to go now, but seriously watch it!"  
"Ok, Bill I will, I'll see you later!"  
"Bye!"

I put down my phone and end up flopping sideways, with half my body now lying on the couch, staring at a the blank television screen. I try to reach for the remote on the coffee table opposite me but the way I've positioned myself has made it impossible, my dog Gerry stares at me, mocking me with those eyes.   
"I'll show you." I say to him as I roll myself over far enough to successfully reach the remote, I grab it victorious. "Ha Ha! Beat that Gerry!" I shout as I look at my confused miniature schnauzer, realising that he did nothing to deserve an owner like myself.

"Ok calm down I've already taken you on like 2 walks today! Geez..." again speaking to my dog as he just sits there with no idea what's happening.  
Later that night, I'm lying on the couch with about fifty blankets lying on top of me with Gerry at the top of the pile, like a small but powerful king. I look at the time and realise SNL is about to start. I quickly change the channel and reach for a bowl of popcorn beside me happily with no teasing from Gerry.

I see Bill on the screen and Gerry barks, recognising his face.

"I know it's Bill!" I say enthusiastically while stuffing my face with the salty popcorn.  
The show is hilarious and Bill is as funny as always, every character jumping out the screen. At the end as the host, Paul Rudd, was saying his thanks, I saw Bill say hey, probably so he could know if I saw it when we next spoke. I watched everyone hug as the music played them out. I yawn, tired and still kinda sick. I was about to go to bed when I saw that When Harry Met Sally was on, one of my favourite films, so I switched the channel and comfortably lay down again.  
My tiredness was too strong though and I quickly drifted to sleep.

I woke up to Gerry barking while someone knocked at the door. I was of course hesitant as it was the early hours of the morning. I look at my phone to see Bill had text me saying he was at my door. I scurried over and undid the four locks on my door.

"Hey" I say sounding goofy with my croaky voice "I saw the show, you were great. Come in."  
"Thanks, I hope you don't mind that I'm here, at- oh god it's 3 in the morning?"  
I laugh, thinking how hilariously oblivious Bill can be to time or even the date sometimes.

"Yeah I mind." I say jokingly, making my way back to the sofa. I lie down on it once again, but more propped up so I can still see Bill.  
"Hey, Gerry!" I hear him say as he pets and hugs him.  
"So how was the after party?" I say  
"It was fine, the same I guess, I didn't stay too long.”  
"Oh?"  
"Yeah, I don't know I went back to my apartment and I was going to go to bed but I kept having this same thought running through my mind."  
"Was it 'I need new clothes' because I've seen You wear that jumper at least fifty times in the last 3 months."  
"Ok I can take a hint, but no that wasn't it," he says still staring at the dog while petting his head.

"So what was it?"  
"It was... that... I-I'm kinda hungry" Bill says, anti-climatically.  
"Really? That's been taking up your mind all night? Why don't you just eat then?"   
"I thought you might want to order some pizza with me."  
"Yeah ok," I say a little confused still lying on the sofa like a starfish.  
"What type do you want?" He says  
"I don't know, whatever you'll get is fine, as long as it's not pineapple!"  
Bill orders and I ask him about how he felt about the show and other topics relating to our weird interests.

Finally the pizza arrives and Gerry joins me on the sofa.  
"Move over," Bill says.  
"You have to say the magic word!" I tease, acting like a 5 year old.  
"Please?" He says rolling his eyes.  
I move my legs and sit up straight as Bill sets down the pizza and grabs some movies.   
"So what should we watch?" He says.  
"Bill?"  
"Yes?"  
"What really was going through your mind before you got here?"  
"Well," He says still looking at the movies, acting as if he's reading the backs of them even though he already knows what each of them are about. "I was wondering why I hadn't realised how much you mean to me"  
Suddenly things feel more serious than before.  
"And I couldn't see my life without you." He says, finally turning to me.  
"Uh huh" I stutter, speechless.  
"I love you and I needed you to know that."  
"I love you too" I smile.  
We quietly stay in that moment for a couple of seconds.

"What about Hot Fuzz?" I say.  
"Yeah, ok" He says still smiling at me.   
He puts the disc on the player and we get ready to watch the film. I take a slice of pizza and when Bill reclaims his side of the couch, I join him, leaning my head on his shoulder, content with Gerry asleep on my lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is my favourite chapter. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it!


	4. Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a ‘Christmas Special’ of sorts.

The month of December has always been a favourite among the world for the great holiday of Christmas. I loved it too, but the one thing I loathed about it was the cold. My hands become icy and my cheeks burn from the frost. It was especially difficult to spend it alone. The only thing that ever got me through it was those corny Christmas songs that played on repeat in the shopping centres.

This year however was different for the best possible reason. Winter didn't feel so cold, It actually felt nice. I was able to realise what made winter warm for others. 

I think it really kicked in during the song 'Fairy tale of New York'. Him and I were wrapping gifts for our families on the living room floor.

I looked up at him and smiled, he smiled back. I continued singing terribly to the song and he just tolerated it. I even saw him snigger as I angrily sang the chorus.

"And the bells will be ringing for Christmas time!!!!!!"

"Beautiful." He said, clapping.

"Thank you, thank you everyone." I said bowing in every direction. It was so nice to be with someone to share my terrible singing talents. I had never felt so happy during the season.

The next song to play was 'Rocking around to the Christmas tree' which was another great hit. I was cello taping a bit of wrapping to another bit of wrapping when Bill suddenly got up.

"May I have this dance?" He said, in a weird 'gentleman-like' voice, reaching out his hand.

Giggling, I replied: "Why of course."

I took his hand, pulling me up.

We danced like idiots, sometimes him pulling me close to his body.  
I smiled up at him.

"I'm so glad you're here with me." I said.

"Me too."


	5. Stupid Love

What was I doing falling in love?

It was just that every time I looked at him I felt that strange sensation again and again and again. The amazingly scary feeling that you get at the top of a rollercoaster or when you are just about to do a presentation in front of all your work colleagues. But this feeling brought happiness and a giddiness I despised that contrasted with the nervous version of it.

Working at SNL was hard but falling for someone who worked there with you was harder. I hated that I liked him so much. He speaks to me like everyday and is genuinely nice. Who does he think he is? Aren't all guys supposed to be complete asses? 

Ugh. 

Don't even get me started on the way he always smiles at me any time we glance at each other during the meetings. What a weirdo.   
I think I've just been coming down with the longest fever of all time that only seems to effect me when I talk to him or seem him or think about him.

The sensation never seems to go away. It's gotten to the point where I can barely look at him because I feel my cheeks burning red with embarrassment. I can't help it anymore sadly. I used to be able to make up excuses to no longer be around him saying I really needed to work or faking phone calls (not that I wanted to, but because I had to for the sake of my own health). Unfortunately this couldn't be an avoided event as here he was at my house hanging out like we're friends or something. 

What am I supposed to do? Kick him out? I had told him only last Tuesday that I was completely free all weekend by accident even bragging by showing my calendar off - he wasn't the only person I was bragging to, I had made a joke at Maria Sawyer, one of the writers, about her busy weekend which lead to the involvement of a couple of other coworkers. It was funny but the joke was just too great and HE had been there to witness it. Before I was even able to make up a story that would let me leave the situation, he had already invited himself over.

I hate the way he always looks so good even when he doesn't make any effort. What a nice and funny guy.

Typical.


	6. Laying in Bed

The warm white sheets wrapped around my body, creating the heat I needed from the cold winter night. There I lay with only the two lamps on that were placed evenly on our bedside tables. The whole room was perfectly cosy and exactly how it felt to be home.

My pillows were propped up against the frame so I could sit up, so was his.

I read Wuthering Heights, he read 2001: A Space Odyssey. It was a typical 'Bill move' to read a book that would be later turned into a film.   
One of the best things about being with him is the bond we shared. We could be in the same room and not speak and be perfectly content in each other, happy enough to know the other is there with you. 

The cold should have creeped away but my shiver continued. The only solution was someone to keep me warm.

I placed my book down and leaned closer to Bill. I placed my head on his lap and read along with him will listening to the best of his heart.  
I quickly felt myself the overtaken by sleep, him too I imagine.

I woke up with my head still on his chest, and him still leaning against the bed frame. One of the most perfect things about him is his adamance to not disturb my slumber.

He sleeps like a log, but a cute log. No he doesn't look like an angel when he sleeps. Instead his mouth hangs open and he sniffs violently from time to time. It's, in my opinion, the perfect way to sleep. I wake up every morning and get to see that dumb Oklahoma face and laugh.

He was even able to make me laugh when he was asleep.

I don't know what I would do without him.


	7. His Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a request for @80s90sTeen on Wattpad.
> 
> You’re Bill Hader’s wife and you’re expecting. Enjoy!

I felt the first shock of pleasant agony. They were coming sooner than expected, two weeks too soon. All my happiness, excitement, and fear assembles together to create this unbearable emotion consuming me. I need him and fast.

"Bill!" I call out from the sofa. He sprints into the living room quicker than anything I've ever seen before.  
"What? Is the pizza too hot? Do you need a napkin? Are you ok? Is it a pregnancy thing?" He spills out not really compiling any sentences along the way.   
"Yeah, Bill the pizza's too hot." I roll my eyes.  
"Really?"  
"No, of course not! It's a pregnancy thing."  
He looks at me with shock and fear and excitement, like how I feel I'm the moment but a lot more expressive, like he is.  
"Are they coming?"  
"I think so?" I say pretty clueless to what's happening. "Maybe we should have like read one of those pregnancy books..." I look at him with a sort of 'shrug' face.  
He smiles, I can tell his excitement is overcoming all other emotions. Mine too.

"I don't know, that 20 minute YouTube video seemed to be good enough."  
"Oh yeah, definite- ee" Another shock of pain startles me.  
"OH, oh my god. Should I look this up or-"  
"The midwife!" I say, a little agitated from the pain.  
"Yeah, you're right I'll call the midwife"  
I smile sarcastically.

Nearly 5 minutes later he returns from the kitchen, pacing and rolling up his sleeves.  
"Ok, lie down on the couch." He says assertively.  
"Ok..." I say looking at him a little concerned.  
"It's not like I'm going to deliver the babies! I just need to time these 'contractions' you're having."  
"Ooooh a big word!" I say mockingly.  
"Come on, I'm responsible for you until the midwife says so!"  
"Aye aye, captain." I say saluting and switching my position onto my back.  
Bill sits next to me, like the good husband he always has been to me. He keeps his eyes locked on the stop watch he's started on his phone.  
"Ooh, there's another one."   
"I see..." he says as if I'm a test subject for some strange drug he's developing.  
2 hours later the midwife arrives at our house. (Yes 2 hours, birth doesn't happen instantly people.*)

"Hey [y/n], how are we doing today?" Says the midwife in the kindest voice possible. However the pain and my restlessness overtakes me and I cannot save her from the demon that now controls me.

"Well, I've been pushing out a baby by myself for the last 2 hours and Bill still hasn't made me my smoothie!" I say almost screaming at this point.  
I stare daggers at Bill, he doesn't seem to mind, he just begins to reply but then stops himself, instead, he hastily makes his way to the kitchen.

The process of giving birth takes place over the course of 6 hours, I couldn't believe how lucky I was, I felt quite guilty afterwards, but still very painful from giving birth to twin boys!  
Bill held my hand through the entire process. Even when I gripped his hand so tight I could have broken a bone, he didn't complain. Instead he was my main motivation. In that moment I felt everything that love was. He was still always perfect to me even through times like this.  
When baby number 1 popped out I saw Bill's face light up so brightly that I think I saw a tear in his eye. The pure joy that he felt in that moment was motivation enough to push out the second one.  
Im my hands are two beautiful children. That are mine! And Bill's! I really can't believe that our first date would end up here.

We went to the cinema and saw Drive a neo-noir film about a stuntman/getaway driver. The romance in that film was one of young love. However me and Bill were in our early 30s so it was hard to think that the idea of this young, quickly found love could happen to him people like us, but it did. I knew I loved him after our 4th date, 2 months into our relationship. I think Bill said he felt the same. Of course we never said it to each other until around the 4 month, but I think we knew through our actions.  
To see how the relationship, marriage and friendship has lead us to this moment pleases me so much.

"We're going to be the best parents ever." Bill says lying beside me in bed. By this point the midwife is gone, leaving behind new-born baby tips.  
Bill kisses me on the forehead and cradles [b/n] as I cradle [other b/n].  
"We are aren't we." I reply optimistically, and completely content in what my life has become.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *unless you are Seth Meyers’ wife


	8. Nervous Gestures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request from @-despresso on Wattpad.

This was the third time Bill had check his hair in the mirror.  
"Why does it fall like that, why can't it do something?" Bill said to himself, frustrated of how he looked today.  
Nervous didn't begin to cover it. He paced around his stingy New York apartment. The person he believed he could spend the rest of his life with had flown in this morning to spend the week in New York. His best friend, the person he was so excited yet nervous to see again was on her way here to see him.  
He took another look around the apartment.  
"Oh god, not the coffee table!" Bill looked at the table to see what seemed to be a ring stain where a mug had been days ago.  
He rushed to the kitchen, to his cleaning cupboard and grabbed the cleaning spray with so much force he nearly fell back.  
A few minutes later, you could believe he was satisfied with the presentation of the apart-  
*knock knock*  
One last look in the mirror.  
Bill walked over to the door and took a deep breath. He opened the door and there she stood. His heart skipped a beat.  
"Hey!" [y/n] said, wrapping her arms around Bill.  
"H-hey" Bill said, taken aback a little.  
"It's so good to see you! I can't believe I haven't seen you since you started at SNL. You are going to have to tell me EVERYTHING!" [y/n] said enthusiastically.  
"Yeah, d-definitely." Bill blushed.  
"So, where are we going for lunch?"  
Bill's face turned white. How could he have forgotten the reason she was coming around?  
He thought quickly in his head for an answer.  
"Um, well, t-there's this um cafe a couple blocks from here that I-I've heard is nice." Bill said, unsure of himself.  
"Ok then, show me the way.” [y/n] smiled, gesturing Bill to go ahead of her.  
————————————————————————  
The cafe was rustic with a friendly atmosphere. The tables were a red wood that were accompanied by blue and and green cushioned chairs. The lights were warm, they made the room feel like home.  
"This place is really nice, Bill. I didn't know you had style." She joked.  
"Yeah." He said, not really listening, he was lost in her eyes.  
They spoke about everything. Bill's news career, her encounter with a man juggling keys of those with cars that he had stole. (Supposedly it was part of the big gossip Bill was missing out on). With each topic, Bill's nervous self became less stuttery and more enthusiastic. The conversation even became deeper and more personal, as they caught up on everything.  
"I can't believe you work at SNL now. You're so funny Bill. I hope you know how much you deserve this." [y/n] said. Squeezing Bill's hand on the table.  
"Thank you." Bill paused. "I really missed you, [y/n].  
"I missed you to." She said in response.  
They held their gaze for what seemed like an eternity.  
Bill thought about everything he had ever wanted to say to her. He needed to see if she maybe, just maybe could feel the same way.  
He scratched the back of his head, a habit he had since a child whenever he was going to confess to something.  
[y/n] knew it too well.  
"I-ah, [y/n], you... are a person?" Bill said nervously.  
"Yes, I am a person as are you."  
"Right, so um, how do I say this?"  
[y/n] looked at Bill the way you would look at your best friend saying that they wanted to always work at a wedding dress shop: Utter confusion and worry for the person talking.  
"Ok, I'm just going to say it. [y/n], we have been best friend for what seems like forever. You have always been there for me, as have I for you. I've barely survived knowing you were on the other side of the country. I can't lose you, I don't want to lose you. Because I love you. Not in the way you love your mother, like in the way you love someone with like um, romantic... uh feelings."  
[y/n] looked at Bill and burst out laughing.  
"Um, not the response I was hoping for but ok." Bill said hiding the fact he felt devastated.  
"You are such a goof." She said, still giggling. "You should know by now that I love you too!"  
She grabbed him by the shirt, smashing her face into his.  
Bill felt waves of relief and happiness for what has happened. He fell in so deep.  
They both did.


	9. A Good Boy named Gerry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reques for @gamergrl4life on Wattpad.

We had now lived with each other for 2 years. Bill and I have been better than I ever could imagine, it was time to go that next step:

We were going to get a dog.

Bill looked so sweet in the navy jacket he wore that day. He smiled at me and at all the puppies and dogs begging for a home. If I didn't control him he would have ended up taking them all home and as sweet as it sounds, it wouldn't be the best idea for our one bedroom apartment.

But there he was, both me and Bill knew it as soon as we set our eyes onto this adorable ball of fur in the shape of a miniature schnauzer.

"Hello buddy!" Bill said, cheesing like it was the happiest day of his life, which honestly, it may have been.

Gerry was his name. He sat, head tilted as we admired him above his pen. Who would have gotten rid of such an adorable creature? Bill and I were eager to take him right home and introduce him into our happy little life.

His little body scattered around the apartment, curious of his new surroundings, wagging his tail ferociously and panting incredibly persistently. I looked at Bill to see him still smiling. We were so excited to begin this new chapter in our lives together. Bill, Gerry, and I.

"Gerry! Gerry!" I would excitedly shout, all I wanted to be was around this cute little creature. Me and Gerry were getting on so well. I would ask him to sit and he would sit, I would ask him to stay and he would stay. He truly was the goodest boy of all.

"[y/n] why don't you ever give me treats when I do what you say?" Bill said as I fed Gerry a biscuit.

"Well, Bill we are in an adult relationship to do wit mutual-" I was saying when Bill cut in:

"But I just thing you should appreciate your boyfriend more. I love Gerry, Gerry's the best, but he's our roommate that you are cheating on me with." Bill said, sounding actually aggravated.

"Bill," I walked over and took him by the shoulders. "Are you saying that you are jealous of the attention I give Gerry?"

The block in front of me began to turn pink. I tried my best to hide the grin growing on my face, but the way he was acting was just priceless.

"I..." was all Bill could muster up before a bursted out laughing.

"Um, well," Bill said, embarrassed and a little shocked of what he just had to admit to himself.

"Bill I love you so much. I love Gerry so much too." I said, as I calmed down from laughing. I kissed him as a way of showing how much I obviously still cared about him. "Why don't we go out just the two of us and get someone to pet sit?"

"No, no, lets go on a walk, the three of us and I promise me and Gerry will be civil."

I grinned so happy to have these two dopes in my life.


	10. Freeing Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request from @ritatamem on Wattpad.

His hand knocked on the dark wooden door, desperate for entry. Outside, where he stood, it poured. The darkness of the night was made more bleak by the sound of slashing rain hitting the concrete. Bill was drenched, his coat heavily absorbed in water.

Knocks turned into pounding which turned into shouting.

"[y/n]!" He cried.  
On the other side of the door lay the warmth of comfort in a personalised home. Shelves of books which had been loved, DVDs that were cherished and an assortment of little ornaments that were sentimental. Furniture placed in each room was hand picked so she could be surrounded by the things she loved.

She awoke from her deep sleep, the sound of yells from the front door were too irritable at this point.  
She reached for the lamp's light switch and scowled as the bright yellow filled the room.  
Still half asleep, she arose from her bed to make her way to the front door. Cautiously, she retrieved her baseball bat from behind a plant in her main hallway. It was the middle of the night, who knew what lunatic stood behind closed doors?

More of her conscience awoke and she began to determine what the yelling had been saying. She recognised the voice.  
Her best friend, someone who has always been there for her, someone who laughed at all of her jokes (and his too), somebody who knew her better than herself . She would never admit it to them self but, she was in love with him.  
Bill Hader. 

The revelation prompted her to set down the bat and open the door. She could hear the thundering night and knew it would be cruel to leave him standing there for any longer.

"It's 2 AM." Is all she said as she opened her now permanently damaged door.  
"I know." Bill said, his eyes locked on [y/n].  
"I..." His stare was powerful and made her lost for words. She knew she had to invite him in before her knees buckled below her.  
She move out of the way of the front door and gestured towards the living room.  
"Come in."  
Bill came in drenched.  
"Let me get you a towel." [y/n] said realising this. In the bathroom her mind was a mess. Why is Bill here? Do I look ok? Why did he have to look so damn good all the time?

In the living room Bill stood, worried to get any of the furniture wet. His mind, too, was a mess. Now that I'm here, what do I say? Does she even care about me the same way I do? Do I look ok? Why does she have to look so damn good all the time?

"Here you go" [y/n] walking back into the room towards Bill.  
"Thanks." Bill took the towel and gently dried his hands and hair with it.  
"Give me your jacket, I'll let it dry off on one of the radiators."

After getting cleaned up, they sat down on the sofa looking towards the fire place which had been turned on. The orange glow bounced off Bill's skin, drawing [y/n] more into his face structure. Bill saw how the glow softened [y/n]'s features. This enhanced what was already beautiful, making Bill more and more nervous to confess what he had been trying to hide for so long.

It would be easiest to just get it all out, quickly.

"I'm officially single now." Bill said, now looking down at the hardwood floor. Nice one Bill.  
"Oh Bill, I know how hard these last few months have been for you," [y/n] said, her hand now resting on his knee. "You know I'll always be there as your friend."  
"My friend..." Bill's words trailed off. He knew she could never love a man like him, he wasn't 'a man's man', he was Tulsa Boy Bill Hader, the funny guy. Magazines didn't even recognise him as an actor. He dragged his fingers through his hair, however this made his hair look more disheveled as his hands had began to shake.  
"So, is that why you're here? To tell me it's been finalised?"  
"Yes, I mean no,"  
"Bill..."

Bill sighed. How was he going to do this? "There's this song that I listened to the other day and it had this lyric in it. What was the song?" Bill asked rhetorically. [y/n] wasn't unsure how this was going to relate to why he was here but she feared he was going to tell her bad news from the frantic look in his eye.  
"Well I guess it doesn't matter what the song was but the lyrics were 'I know you think you are, but you're not completely free'." Bill said, looking at [y/n] with genuine eyes.  
"Oh?"  
"I'm not completely free. I'm not completely free until I tell you how I feel." Bill took [y/n]'s hands. 

"You are my best friend, I love you and you will always be there for me. You've shown me that, but I can't keep up this charade. I know I may lose you forever, but I'm willing to take the chance. I love you so much more than just a friend. You are the world to me. I don't think there is a woman or man more beautiful than you and I have all of these romantic feelings that won't go away and I need you to know that I would do anything for you to love me the same way I love you." Everything blurted our of his mouth at once.   
It felt almost out of character as all this repressed emotion had been released.  
This came as a shock. Every word meant so much to her, it was poetry to her ears, yes it was rough, but Bill was like that when he was nervous. [y/n] could feel the tears falling from her eyes. These tears were happy tears. Tears of relief and a little bit of tiredness.

"You are the funniest, sweetest most important person in my life. You are never not genuine and you may not know it, but everyday I live my life a little better because you make me want to improve myself for not only you, but for myself too. Bill, you're a fucking idiot if you don't think I feel the exact same way." They both chuckled.  
Bill wiped the tears from [y/n]'s cheek, his hands lingered on her face.  
"What now?" She asked.

Bill looked into her eyes, telling her exactly what he was thinking. He leaned in and pressed his lips against her's.  
The kiss was filled with passion and deep emotion that they hadn't been able to share until now. They felt inseparable at this point, why would they ever leave each other's sides again?

Everything in the room became an influence to their romance, the fireplace warmed the room, the furniture was personal and intimate. They couldn't deny the chemistry they were feeling in the moment. Lips still locked, Bill stood up, grabbing [y/n]'s waist, directing her to the bedroom. 

"Rocky!" Bill said, departing from [y/n]'s mouth for a moment.  
"What?"  
"The song, it was Rocky by Ben Folds,"  
"Kiss me." She said, rolling her eyes and smiling at the same time.

The next morning could deal with the consequences, for now it was just the two of them, servants of love.


	11. Shared Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bill are suffering from anxiety. I hope this is tasteful I’m so sorry if it isn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I'm sorry it's been so long. You all saw how amazingly hot he was in It and I really don't blame you lol. Anyways here's a fic to throwback to his SNL days and the imagines I've neglected I will begin writing during the winter break!   
Please enjoy this, I hope my writing hasn't become awful lol, it's been a while haha. :)

It was cold again in New York. The crisp wind nipped at your skin as you walked through the city. You really missed the heat inside, but you did it for him.

You had to run if you were to make it. Bill had called you a few minutes ago, terror in his voice. You never liked to hear when his anxiety got to him. Bill was so important to you and him struggling was hard to see. But you cared so much.  
"I need you right now." He said, his voice quivering on the other line.  
"I'll be there as soon as I can, just keep breathing." You said before running out your door.

There was the NBC building. You were lucky the security recognised you so you could run up to SNL's floor. You felt almost worried that he would mess up or even run out of the show. You know he would regret cutting his time short so being there for him was essential.

The corridors seemed cramped and maze-like when looking for the right room. You were dipping your head in and out of doors as you could hear Kenan Thompson warm up the audience.   
Where was make-up again? You thought to yourself. Your hands began to shake as you felt yourself get anxious looking for Bill who was suffering from an anxiety attack himself.

Thank god for John. You catch him coming around the corridor.

"Where's Bill?" You say and John grabs and tells you that he's been hoping you show up.

"Tell him he's making me consider accounting with how dramatic he's acting." John said half joking, half serious.

You walk into the men's bathroom, worriedly.

"Bill?" You say out to the seemingly empty bathroom.

Bill's head pokes out from the farthest stall, he's been sitting on the floor.

"[y/n]?" He says.

"So this is what the bathrooms look like." you say jokingly, looking around.

He tries to smile but really he can't focus on anything but your presence. You walk over to him and sit on the floor next to him. You take his hand.

"[y/n]... I... I don't think I can handle this anymore." He says sincerely, looking in your eyes.

"What can't you handle?" 

"SNL."

You knew that was going to be the answer but you still felt somewhat taken aback from it.

"You are so wrong." You say confidently.

"W-what?" He says.

"Why else would Lorne have hired you, you buffoon? You're 4 years into this gig and I've never been so proud. You're anxiety isn't some sort of enemy. It's just another part of you you need to acknowledge."

"Yeah but-"

"Come on let's get up." You say. "If you mess up the first line what's the worst that could happen?"

"You will be in the crowd?" He says now towering over you.

"Of course." You say. "I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner."

He pulls you into a hug and kisses you before he jogs out of the bathroom to make up.

Wow these bathrooms seriously stink though oh my god. You say before walking out yourself.

——————————————

It had been a few weeks since Bill's anxiety attack before his Cold Open. 

You had never felt so scared in your life. You finally felt you could pursue your own dream, however how the hell were you going to get through this interview? Each minute leading up to it felt like an eternity of torturous mindfuckery. 

God, where is he? You asked yourself, waiting for Bill to show up at the coffee shop to prep you. He was 15 minutes late. You had texted him a few dozen times, your worrying was getting the best of you.

The latte you order was turning in your stomach and it was difficult not to feel it. Your hands begin to shake and your forehead begin to sweat profusely.   
Where's the bathroom? You look around. You quickly walk towards a doorway with a women's restroom sign. 

You reach into your bag for some Xanax, something you were able to acquire because of your fear of flight. Your not sure if you should take it however, if you do you'll be calm, but who knows what you'll say in the interview. Oh god where is he?

You hear a loud knock on the bathroom door. You feel startled, but your breathing pattern had been lost to the panic and you can't say to who ever's there that the bathroom's occupied.

"[y/n]?! Bill says loudly so you can hear through the door. You reach for the lock and barely after you take your hand away to open the door, it's already been pushed wide open by Bill.

"Are you ok? I couldn't get to my phone. I'm so sorry I'm late." He says, overlapping his words. He's taken your face in his hands.

You grab him, relieved to see him and pull him into a hug. 

"I-" you begin.

"It's ok, you're ok?" 

You nod. 

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." You say. "I don't think I can do this."

"The interview or us?" Bill says worriedly.

"The interview." you say rolling your eyes, the sides of your mouth turning into a smile.

"I love you. I love your work ethic. Why the hell could you not do it?" He says, imitating how you spoke to him weeks before.

"Oh..." you catch on.

"You are soooo wrong." He says giggling.

You can't help but giggle too.

"Come on, I have to get you to this interview that I just know you're going to be rad in." He says, reaching his arm out for you to take a hold of.

"Thank you."

He kisses you and leads you out the bathroom.

"Talk about deja vu." He says.


End file.
